Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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