Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
