did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
