frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
