I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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