if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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