I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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