I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I would ride that face into the sunset
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
