butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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