we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
