Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
