Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Success! We fucked roommates!
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