Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
