Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
