Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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