NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
