We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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