i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
