Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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