Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
