Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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