i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
that may or may not have been my penis.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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