haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
