EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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