Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
