Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
