He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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