no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
