ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
