Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
no, he came in my armpit
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
