I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
