she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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