thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
