i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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