i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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