your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
