I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
