So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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