you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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