the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
