I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
