When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
