You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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