How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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