i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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