If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
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I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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