People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
