it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
