I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
