I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize