Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
