There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
