Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
