hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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