i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
