I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
