in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
