Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize