absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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